Dammit. I intended for
my second post to at least introduce myself and provide my intent for this
blog. But once again, I have so many thoughts running through my brain and I
need to unload them. I have quite a funny inner-dialogue going on at ALL times.
Here are a few snippets of today's thoughts:
1. My youngest
"shat" all over himself and his car seat on the way to daycare...WHY,
WHY does this "shit" always happen to me? Here I am, starting my
first week back at the whole "working out/eating right" thing--which
requires a SHITLOAD of time that I don't have--and I got to spend a good 20
extra minutes at daycare in the parking lot with a naked, shit-covered boy
while all the other parents drove past us and gave me the, "Oh...you're
THAT mom" look. Which leads me to...
2. WHY DIDN'T I
REPLENISH MY EXTRA STASH OF "EMERGENCY" DIAPERS & EXTRA CLOTHES
IN MY CAR????? After the humiliation of being "that" mom in the
parking lot changing her baby in the back of her SUV...I was the fortunate soul
who got to carry my baby inside bare-bottomed while my older two just laughed
and laughed. Why? WHY????? I just want to get home and work out. Wait. Back the
truck up--did that thought just come out of MY brain? Nope. Not possible.
Moving on.
3. Some days I'm
SOOOOOOOOOOOO exhausted I can barely make it to 7pm. Today, however, I feel
like I got more accomplished than I have all week. I got up at 6am, got dressed
and brushed my teeth, went to wake up middle child, read him a book b/c I woke
up early enough to do that, brushed his teeth (we NEVER have time to do that in
the mornings), woke up the baby and got him ready for school, remembered to
grab extra clothes for him (THANK GOD--see #1 above), came downstairs and got
oldest dressed (he slept in our bed last night b/c we stayed up late watching
American Ninja Warrior), ensured that I had all required sippy-cups of milk and
granola bars for the car ride, loaded boys up, drove to daycare, completely
cleaned up my youngest with approximately 247 wipes in the back of my SUV b/c
his diaper leaked in his car seat, dropped all the kids off, got back home and
took apart the car seat to wash the cover, had to hose down the car seat (sans
cover) in the front yard (Yep, I became THAT neighbor), packed my lunch and
snacks to take to work (since I'm on my new "eating right" kick), put
the frozen meatballs I made by hand last night into the crock
pot, went to work, worked, came home around 4:45 to put the carseat back together,
did my 30 minute work-out video, left at 5:35 to go pick the boys up, got home
around 6:30, boiled water to make pasta to go with the meatballs, took our
middle child to the potty so he could poop (he's scared of going and this was
his first time to go with me in a couple of weeks), served up dinner, had to
make a "new" sauce of 1/2 jarred spaghetti sauce and 1/2 alfredo
sauce b/c the sauce I previously made was AWFUL (and the meatballs were
comparable to dog food in my opinion), ate dinner (with ONE naked child), did
dishes from two days prior in which I was prepping and making a bunch of my
"healthy" food for the week, gave the 2 youngest baths while oldest
took a shower, got all kinds in their PJs, clipped 2 boys toes and fingernails,
brushed their teeth, put baby to bed, read two books to middle, read two books
to oldest, laid with him for 10 minutes, came downstairs, got more wine,
started typing my blog post, oldest appeared and climbed into our bed, and that
about takes me to now.
HOLY CRAP I got a lot
done today.
4. I can't believe I
have resorted to drinking boxed wine just like my mom did 20 years ago. But let’s
be honest (and budget friendly)…it lasts longer!!! However, I will NOT subject
myself to that white zinfandel crap that she used to drink (and I used to
steal). Don't worry--it was late, late teens/early 20's.
5. Today while doing my
workout video--I had to physically HOLD my stomach with my hand in order to
complete the jumping jack portion. NOTHING will get you more motivated to lose
your fat tummy than holding your fat tummy.
6. I wonder how much
longer I’ll be able to get away with rapping all the lyrics to Dr. Dre or Salt
'N Peppa in the car. The two oldest seem VERY intrigued by it all...but I dread
the day they ask me, "Mom, what does Shoop mean?" (I should be ashamed.)
7. When I am complaining
about how busy I am, friends with older kids often tell me that they
"totally remember" what it was like when their kids were
younger...but I question, "DO YOU REALLY? Do you REALLY remember because I think if you did, we probably wouldn't be
having this conversation because you would "remember" that I'm
FREAKING BUSY, OK?!?!?!
8. Why am I OBSESSED
with my children...when they are sleeping?????? I could stare at those angel
faces for hours upon hours.
9. Why do I still have
baby brain (see my first blog post)? Although it's definitely reduced, I am
just so, so sad that this will be our last baby. I hug our youngest now and just
soak in as much of that baby smell as I can. It's so odd to me how I can want
this more than anything I've ever wanted in the world and then 7 minutes later
when the boys are misbehaving, I want NOTHING to do with this idea. Truthfully
though, even when I find myself thinking, "How would I ever make dinner, do laundry, do the dishes, go pee, etc. with 4
kids?" I STILL have this part of me that tries to convince myself that we could do it--we've done it before and it would be so great!
So that was a look into
just a FEW of my thoughts today. I guess I’m going to go to bed now and rest my
brain.
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